How to Get and Keep Friendships That Honor Us Through and Through

Lately, I’ve felt a quiet ache—a kind of homesickness that has nothing to do with places and everything to do with people.

I miss my friendships. Or maybe it's more accurate to say… I miss feeling connected in them. Life got tangled. Seasons shifted. People drifted. And now, I don’t quite know how to reach back out—or how to hold on when I do. I long for that easy, soul-deep companionship with my people… but I feel like I’ve lost the map.

I crave a circle where I can be soft and strong, quiet and messy, curious and seen. A tribe of women who want to talk about life, spirit, growth, and everything in between—who know how to really listen, and want to be listened to in return.

But honestly? I just don’t know what to do at this point.

So this post isn’t just advice—it’s a journaled hope. A candle lit in the dark. A whisper into the universe that I’m ready to find and nurture friendships that honor me—and I’m willing to do the soulwork to be ready for them too.

Here’s what I’m holding close as I try to find my way:

1. Start with the Self

Before I can call in the kind of connection I’m dreaming of, I know I need to sit with myself. Who am I becoming? What kind of friend do I want to be? Honoring our own hearts makes space for others to do the same. I’m learning (slowly) that being my whole self is the best way to find the ones who feel like home.

2. Reach Out With Honesty, Not Perfection

There’s this pressure sometimes—to have the perfect check-in, the flawless “Hey, how’ve you been?” But connection isn’t about polish. It’s about truth. I’m learning to reach out imperfectly: “I’ve been missing you. I don’t really know what to say, but I wanted to say something.” That’s enough. Sometimes it’s everything.

3. Value Depth Over Frequency

I used to think real friends talk every day. Now, I know it’s more about presence when it does happen. A ten-minute heart-to-heart can be more nourishing than months of scattered messages. I’m learning to let go of the guilt for not keeping up “perfectly,” and instead leaning into the depth I can offer.

4. Call In the Right Energy

I light candles. I pray quietly. I whisper to the trees and send my longing into the wind: Bring me my people. Women who want to grow together. Laugh, cry, and create. Share tea and stories. The kind of friends who feel like soul sisters. I believe they’re out there—and I believe I’ll find them when the time is right.

5. Let Go With Love, If Needed

Some friendships are meant for a moment, not a lifetime. It doesn’t mean they weren’t real—it just means you’ve both grown into new shapes. If something no longer fits, I’m learning to release it gently. No bitterness. Just gratitude, and space for something new to grow.

If you’re like me—missing connection, longing for a sacred circle of kindred hearts—you’re not alone. Let’s keep trusting. Let’s keep reaching. Let’s keep becoming the kind of friend we’d be honored to find.

Because somewhere out there… I think our people are missing us too.

Blessed Be,

Bobbi Ann

Longing, learning, and lighting the way home.