How to Hold On When Life Gets Heavy
- Root & Rising
- Aug 12
- 5 min read
There are seasons when it feels like the ground keeps shifting under your feet — when stress piles up, losses stack, and every day feels heavier than the last. In those moments, it’s tempting to pull away from the people you love, to hide in the quiet and wait until you “feel like yourself again.” But the truth is, relationships aren’t just built in the good seasons. They’re shaped in the storms, too. Even in the chaos — especially in the chaos — we can still nurture our connections, one small act of care at a time.
1. Name the Mess
One of the kindest things you can do for your relationships in hard times is to be honest about the fact that things aren’t okay. You don’t have to spill every detail, but letting someone know, “I’m in a rough spot right now” can take away the pressure to pretend you’re fine.
When we hide the truth, we end up creating distance without meaning to. But when we name what’s happening — even if it’s just a few words — we give people the chance to show up for us. It also helps set expectations: you may not be as talkative, available, or energetic as usual, but that doesn’t mean you care any less.
2. Keep Communication Simple & Real
When life feels like it’s swallowing you whole, it’s easy to go silent because you don’t have the energy for long conversations. But silence can sometimes feel like disconnection to the people who care about you.
You don’t need to write paragraphs or plan long phone calls. A quick “thinking of you” text, a shared meme, or a short voice note can be enough to keep the thread between you alive.
Honesty matters more than perfection here. If you can’t talk much, say so: “I don’t have many words right now, but I still want you to know I care.” That little bit of truth can go a long way in keeping relationships warm when everything else feels cold.
3. Adjust Your Expectations
Hard seasons change what we have to give — and that’s okay. You might not be able to show up in the same ways you normally do, and the people you care about might be carrying their own heavy loads, too.
Instead of aiming for how it used to be, focus on what’s possible right now. Sometimes a five-minute conversation is all you can manage. Sometimes a quick hug, a smile, or even just sitting together in silence is enough.
This is where grace comes in — for yourself and for them. Relationships aren’t about perfect balance at all times; they’re about ebb and flow. Some days you give more, some days you receive more. And in the hard seasons, “less” doesn’t have to mean “not enough.”
4. Find Small Rituals of Connection
When everything feels overwhelming, big plans can feel impossible. That’s why small, repeatable moments of connection matter so much.
It could be sending each other a good-morning text, sharing a weekly coffee date, or tagging each other in funny videos. Maybe it’s a nightly “how was your day?” voice note or a shared playlist you both add songs to.
These little rituals create an anchor — something steady when life feels unpredictable. They remind you that even if the world is messy, you still have points of connection that hold. Sometimes, it’s not the grand gestures that keep a relationship strong — it’s the small, ordinary moments done with love.
5. Learn to Sit in Discomfort Together
Not every problem has a quick fix. Sometimes the best thing we can do for each other is simply be present — even when the air feels heavy with things we can’t change.
It might mean sitting side by side in silence, letting the tears fall without rushing to stop them, or admitting, “I don’t know what to say, but I’m here.” This kind of presence can feel awkward at first, but it’s deeply healing.
We don’t always need solutions. We need safe spaces where our hearts can just exist without judgment. Learning to hold that space for each other — without forcing the mood to change — can make the bond between you stronger than any “perfect” moment ever could.
6. Don’t Let Resentment Build in the Shadows
When we’re under stress, it’s easy for little frustrations to pile up unnoticed until they burst out in ways we regret. Hard seasons can make us more sensitive, tired, and quick to assume the worst — and that’s when resentment quietly takes root.
Instead of letting it grow in the dark, bring it into the light early, and gently. Use language that focuses on your feelings, not accusations: “I felt hurt when…” or “I’m feeling disconnected and I miss you.”
It’s not about avoiding conflict — it’s about making sure you handle it with care. Addressing small issues before they become big ones helps keep trust intact, even when the world outside your relationship feels unstable.
7. Remember That This Season Isn’t Forever
When life is heavy, it can feel like the weight will never lift. But seasons change — even the hard ones. The way you and your loved ones show up for each other now will shape how you remember this chapter later.
You won’t always be this tired, this overwhelmed, or this uncertain. There will be laughter again, there will be lightness again, and there will be moments when you both look back and realize you made it through — together.
Relationships aren’t only built in the easy times; they’re forged in the fire of life’s hardest days. Every small act of care you give or receive is another thread in the bond that holds you.
Closing Reflection
It’s okay if you don’t have it all figured out. It’s okay if all you can give is something small. Love doesn’t have to be loud to be real — sometimes, it’s the quiet presence, the simple check-in, the tiny ritual that keeps a relationship alive through the storm. And when the skies finally clear, you’ll see that those small acts were the bridge that carried you both through.
Blessed Be,
Bobbi Ann
🌿 Rooted, curious, and learning every step
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