🌑 Soft Steps Through the Dark – Part 4

The Unseen Mirror: How Projection Reveals the Shadow

There are moments when someone’s words sting more than they should. When we find ourselves judging others harshly or feeling envious of their joy, success, or freedom. And then there are the times when we idealize someone, placing them on a pedestal so high we forget they’re human.

These moments are not random. They’re invitations.

In shadow work, this experience is called projection—when we unconsciously place parts of ourselves (especially the parts we’ve rejected, disowned, or repressed) onto others. It’s a psychological survival strategy, and we all do it. Sometimes we project our pain, our fear, our unmet needs. Other times, we project our power, our light, our longing to be whole.

We might say, “She’s so full of herself,” when deep down we fear our own worth isn’t enough. Or we might feel drawn to someone’s confidence, unaware that it mirrors a strength we’ve buried in ourselves.

Projection is the shadow’s mirror. It reflects what we can’t yet face within. But when we begin to notice the emotional charge behind these experiences—when someone really gets to us—we open a window into deeper healing. What if the traits you love or loathe in others are simply parts of yourself asking to come home?

This part of the journey is not about guilt or shame. It’s about noticing with compassion. We can begin to say, “Ah, there you are,” instead of hiding from the truth. And with that, we slowly integrate what’s been left behind.

Let’s meet our mirrors with curiosity.

🕯️ Mini Ritual: “What Is This Showing Me?”

This gentle ritual is designed to help you reflect on a recent emotional trigger or projection without judgment. You’ll need:

• A small mirror

• A candle

• Your journal

• A quiet space

  
  

1. Prepare Your Space:

Light the candle and place the mirror in front of you. Take three deep breaths, softening your shoulders. Imagine you’re sitting in the safety of your own inner grove.

2. Look Inward:

Think of a person or situation that stirred a strong emotional reaction in you. It could be irritation, jealousy, adoration, resentment, or even obsession. Hold the mirror and say softly:

“Show me what I need to see—not to judge, but to understand.”

3. Reflect & Write:

Gaze at your reflection for a moment, then gently close your eyes and move to your journal. Let the following prompts guide your heart.

🖋️ Journal Prompts

1. Who or what has triggered a strong reaction in me lately? What was the situation, and how did I feel?(Be honest without filtering. Let your emotions speak.)

2. What qualities or behaviors in this person/situation bothered me the most—or captivated me?(This could be arrogance, confidence, freedom, carelessness, beauty, etc.)

3. If I imagine those same qualities in myself, how do I feel? Is there discomfort, shame, longing, or fear?(Let the connection unfold gently.)

4. Have I ever been told not to be like this? Was I shamed for showing this trait growing up?(This may reveal when the shadow was born.)

5. Is there a part of me that needs to be seen, accepted, or reclaimed? What would it feel like to welcome it back?

6. What can I learn about myself through this projection? How can I care for this part of me now?

   
   

🌿 Closing Reflection

Bring your hand to your heart and whisper:

“I honor what I see in others as reflections of the self I am still learning to love.”

Blow out your candle and thank yourself for your courage. Even small steps toward awareness are powerful acts of healing.

🌸Blessed Be,

and may your heart meet its reflection with compassion.

— Bobbi Ann

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🌿 If today’s post spoke to you, the Soft Steps Companion Workbook offers more prompts, guided reflections, and creative exercises that pair with each part of this series. Learn more here.