🌑 Soft Steps Through the Dark – Part 8

Staying with the Uncomfortable: Making Space for What We Usually Avoid

So much of shadow work is not about doing something—it’s about staying with something.

We all have emotional reflexes. We scroll, lash out, shrink, numb, overthink, apologize too much, say “I’m fine” when we’re unraveling. These habits aren’t failures. They’re strategies. They helped us survive what once felt too overwhelming to feel.

But healing happens when we pause in those moments of discomfort—when we stop trying to fix, flee, or explain it away. It happens when we sit beside our fear, grief, jealousy, rage, or numbness and whisper, “You’re allowed to be here.”

Being with discomfort isn’t glamorous. It’s raw and real. But it builds emotional resilience. It helps us grow roots deep enough to weather storms without collapsing. It teaches us that we don’t have to run anymore. We can breathe through it. We can stay.

🕯️ Mini Ritual: “In This Moment, I Stay”

This simple but powerful ritual helps you practice sitting with a difficult feeling—gently, without judgment or rushing to change it.

You’ll need:

• A timer (or just awareness)

• A journal

• A quiet, safe place where you can feel without interruption

• A grounding item (stone, blanket, mug, etc.)

1. Ground Yourself:

Hold your grounding item and take a few deep breaths. Feel your body. You are safe now.

2. Let the Feeling Rise:

Think of a recent moment of emotional discomfort—something you usually avoid or try to push away. Invite it forward. You don’t have to relive the story—just notice the feeling.

3. Stay for 3 Minutes:

Set a timer or simply stay with the feeling for a few slow minutes. Breathe into it. Name it softly: “This is sadness.” “This is loneliness.” “This is fear.” And then remind yourself: “I can stay with this.”

4. Release Gently:

When you’re ready, place your grounding item over your heart or on the earth. Thank yourself for showing up. Then write.

🖋️ Journal Prompts

1. What emotions do I usually avoid, suppress, or escape from? How do I do it?

2. What am I afraid might happen if I actually let myself feel those emotions fully?

3. What came up for me during the ritual? What surprised me? What did I learn about my capacity to stay?

4. How does discomfort show up in my body? What helps me regulate it safely?

5. What new, gentle practices can help me build emotional tolerance—so I don’t keep abandoning myself when things get hard?

🌿 Closing Reflection

Breathe deeply and whisper:

“I am strong enough to stay.

I am soft enough to feel.

I am wise enough to choose presence over escape.”

Let this part of your shadow journey remind you that healing doesn’t always mean feeling better. Sometimes it just means feeling—fully and without shame.

🌸Blessed Be,

and may your heart meet its reflection with compassion.

— Bobbi Ann

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🌿 If today’s post spoke to you, the Soft Steps Companion Workbook offers more prompts, guided reflections, and creative exercises that pair with each part of this series. Learn more here.