Finding Myself While Building Root and Rising
A personal reflection on feeling stuck, rebuilding myself, and trying to grow Root and Rising into something that supports people through their own hard seasons.
Lately I’ve been stuck in my own head. It feels like I’m constantly drifting through my thoughts without ever landing anywhere solid. I wake up already overwhelmed, already unsure of what the day is supposed to look like. My mind keeps running in circles, full of ideas, full of things I want to do, full of things I want to build, but I can’t seem to figure out where to start. It’s like I’m carrying too much and not moving at all.
I keep thinking about Root and Rising and everything I want it to become. I keep imagining new things I want to offer, new ways I want the shop to grow, new ways I want it to help people. But instead of feeling excited, I feel lost. I feel stuck between wanting to do so much and not knowing how to take the first step. It’s a strange place to be, wanting more but feeling disconnected from myself at the same time.
But lately it’s been more than just shop ideas. I’ve been having a hard time doing anything in my everyday life. Getting out of bed feels like a chore. Basic routines feel impossible to keep up with. I stare at things I need to do and feel completely disconnected from them. Even small tasks like cleaning up, making food, or organizing my space feel heavier than they should. I keep telling myself I need to find myself, like there’s some version of me I used to know and I can’t seem to reach her anymore.
The problem is, I don’t know how to do that. I’ve always been good at helping everyone else. I know how to show up for people. I know how to figure things out for them. I know how to be the one who steps in and makes things easier. But when it comes to helping myself, I fucking suck at it. I guess I never really had to before, and now that I’m trying, it feels confusing and uncomfortable and overwhelming. It feels like I’m trying to rebuild something without knowing what the original structure even looked like.
Because the truth is, I want Root and Rising to offer more. I want it to be a place where people come when they need comfort, direction, or a moment to breathe. I want it to feel like a space where someone can walk in, look around, and feel understood without having to say a word.
I want to bring in items that actually help people build a better life for themselves. Journals that help them sort through their thoughts. Reflection tools that help them understand what they want. Grounding items that help them slow down and reconnect with themselves. I want Root and Rising to carry things that support real change, not just pretty objects that sit on a shelf.
I imagine someone coming to the shop during a hard season and finding something that makes them feel a little less alone. Maybe they pick up a journal that helps them get their thoughts out of their head. Maybe they find a small comfort item that makes their day feel more manageable. Maybe they choose something that helps them create a routine or a ritual that brings them back to themselves.
I want Root and Rising to be a place where people feel safe to grow. A place that encourages them to take small steps toward the life they want. A place that feels warm and cozy and honest. A place that doesn’t pretend life is perfect, but offers tools that make the hard parts easier to move through.
I want the shop to evolve into something that supports people in real ways. Not just with products, but with intention. I want it to be a space that helps people reconnect with who they are, even when they feel lost. I want it to be a place where someone can find exactly what they didn’t know they needed.
That is the kind of shop I want Root and Rising to become.
And every time I try to choose a direction, these limiting beliefs show up. They don’t just hit when I’m thinking about the shop. They hit in my everyday life. They show up when I’m trying to get out of bed. They show up when I’m staring at a sink full of dishes. They show up when I’m trying to make a plan for the day and can’t even decide where to start.
“Why would I offer anything else? No one wants what I already have.”
“I am not good enough.”
“I will never succeed with anything.”
These thoughts make even the smallest tasks feel heavier. They make me feel like I’m failing before I even begin. They make me question myself in moments when I’m already struggling to do basic things. They make me feel like I’m trying to climb out of a hole while someone keeps throwing dirt back in.
And when I think about Root and Rising, these beliefs get even louder. They show up when I imagine the shop becoming something bigger. They show up when I picture people coming to Root and Rising for comfort or direction. They show up when I think about offering new items that could actually help someone build a better life. They make me wonder if I’m reaching too far. They make me wonder if I’m dreaming too big. They make me wonder if I’m trying to build something I’m not capable of.
But the truth is, I want Root and Rising to grow. I want it to become a place that helps people through their own hard seasons. I want it to be a space that feels warm and honest and supportive. I want it to be a place where someone can find something that makes their day feel a little easier. And these beliefs fight me every step of the way. They make me feel small in moments when I’m trying to imagine something bigger.
I know these beliefs aren’t real. I know they come from old patterns and old wounds. But they still show up, and when they do, they make me question everything I’m trying to build, both in my life and in Root and Rising’s future.
I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. So I want to open the door for you too. If you’ve ever felt stuck, unsure, or disconnected from yourself, I’d love to hear what helped you move through it. What made things feel lighter? What made you feel supported? What helped you find your footing again?
And when you think about Root and Rising, what kinds of things would make you feel seen or supported during your own hard seasons? Your voice matters here. Your experiences matter. I want Root and Rising to grow into something that actually helps people, and your insight helps me understand what that looks like.
I don’t have everything figured out yet. I’m still trying to understand myself. I’m still trying to get through the days that feel heavy. I’m still trying to move past the beliefs that keep pulling me backward. Some days I feel like I’m barely keeping up with my own life. Some days I feel like I’m rebuilding myself from scratch. It’s messy and uncomfortable, and nothing about it feels easy.
But I’m still here. I’m still trying. I’m still imagining what Root and Rising could become. I’m still holding on to the hope that I can grow into the person who builds the shop I see in my head. I want Root and Rising to be a place that helps people through their own hard seasons, even while I’m working through mine. I want it to be a space that feels honest and comforting and real. I want it to be something that grows alongside me instead of something I have to pretend to be ready for.
I don’t know exactly where I’m going yet, but I’m choosing to keep moving. I’m choosing to keep creating. I’m choosing to keep showing up for myself, even when it feels like the hardest thing to do. This part of the journey isn’t pretty, but it’s real. And maybe that’s enough for right now.
Rooted, curious, and learning every step,
Bobbi Ann
Links
Explore the Blog This is where you can read more reflections, updates, and personal posts.
Visit the Shop Browse the items available at Root and Rising.
Fuel the Magick: If you want to support this dream as it grows, you can help fuel the magick behind Root and Rising.
Comments