🌾Reclaiming My Craft, For Me

I’ve always struggled with needing acknowledgement and approval—from friends, family, strangers, you name it. It’s exhausting, and honestly, it’s beyond ridiculous how deep that need runs sometimes. But I know I’m not alone in it. It starts small—wanting a gold star, a kind word, some proof you’re doing it “right.” But over time, that hunger grows teeth.

For most of my life, I’ve chased approval like it was the only way to feel worthy. I bent over backwards to be the helpful one, the creative one, the one who kept things running—even when I was falling apart inside. I thought if I could just do enough, be enough, prove enough… maybe someone would finally say, “I see you.” And for a long time, that kept me small, exhausted, and disconnected from myself. The truth is, I lost sight of what I actually wanted, because I was so busy molding myself into what I thought others needed. But I’m done performing. I don’t need permission anymore. I don’t need a round of applause to create, to try, to be. I’m learning to clap for myself—to listen to my own voice, to trust that I don’t have to earn space. I already belong. Right here, as I am.

Instead of creating for me, I used to create for everyone else. I chased ideas that I thought would impress people or sell well. I rarely asked: Do I love this? Does this light me up?

Here’s a list of my many ventures—things I’ve jumped into, hoping to help my family financially while doing what I thought would bring me purpose:

• Avon

• Tupperware

• Uppercase Living

• Home & Garden Party

• Scentsy

• Beachbody

• Vinyl decals

• Iron-ons for clothes

• Epoxy tumblers

• Crystals

• Paint Pour Canvases

• Polymer clay earrings

• And now… soapmaking

I’m sure that’s not even all of them. And here’s the wild thing I’ve noticed: so many times, once I stopped doing something, that’s when people around me started showing interest. Suddenly, someone would want a some Tupperware, or Scentsy, or Beachbody. And I’d be left thinking, Where were you when I needed support? It made me feel invisible, like no one really wanted to help me when it counted.

That feeling—like I was putting all this effort in, but it only mattered when I gave up—was crushing. It kept reinforcing the lie that I wasn’t enough, that my time and energy only had value once I’d burned out. And honestly, that stuck with me way more than I’d like to admit.

But now? I’m fucking done with that cycle.

I’ve learned I like hearing ideas and input from people, but I need to stop letting that override my inner voice. I need to pause, to breathe, to listen to what I want. Not just what might sell fast or make others happy. Because I’ve realized something important: passion doesn’t scream—it hums. It roots down quietly. And when I follow it, things feel lighter, freer, mine.

I don’t know what my “thing” is yet—and maybe there isn’t just one. But I know I want to do things differently now. I want to create because it fills my spirit. I want to try something new because it excites me—not because someone said it might go viral.

I'm relearning self-trust. It looks like asking myself more questions. Journaling. Slowing down. Reminding myself that failure doesn’t mean I’m a failure. That changing direction isn’t giving up—it’s choosing again, more honestly.

It’s not easy, and I won’t pretend like it’ll happen overnight. But I will get there. It may take time, and it might get messy, but I’m committed to doing what feels right to me now.

At the end of the day, my craft, my journey, my magic—it’s mine. And that’s worth more than anyone else’s approval ever could be.

✨ I’d love to hear from you—have you ever felt stuck in the cycle of doing things for others instead of yourself? What have you learned from it? Drop a comment or share your story with me. Let’s grow through this together. 🌱

Winding down with soul:

Trusting the hum of my own voice.

Blessed Be,

Bobbi Ann